What are these feelings ? (Secret Love Affair Ep11)


Secret Love Affair, it’s such a great show that I’ve even taken to watching it raw and then watching it again the next day with sub. And I usually don’t watch shows twice unless it’s on t.v. and I’m bored and they were kinda funny. And certainly not shows like Secret Love Affair.

These are a few things that have stayed from the 11th Episode

1) Hye Won’s photo when she was young. Like Wow. Fluffy hair and omg. There are no words. And Sun Jae’s face when he sees it. It was a  “Christmas Present is early” face. 
I wonder if Prof Jo was more than friends with Hye Won? I don’t think they had an actual relationship but she did give him a recording of her playing the piano and he does speak of her in a familiar way. A platonic relationship? Maybe I’m over thinking this. But with a show like this, it’s never direct. 

2) Sun Jae’s face when he’s dialing Hye Won’s phone (Which is with him) from his phone. And just watching it ring. He looked so full of want/desire but also sad and it broke my heart. And in the morning when’s he’s tossing and turning in bed and moaning, I just wanted to hold him and say “It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay” (Even though it probably won’t in the end )   😦 

3) Hye Won when she’s sitting in the car with her friend and she cries. Watching Hye Won cry, it is one the most cruel things to watch. And I don’t ever want to watch it happen again. (But it probably will) 😦 😦 

4) Sun Jae’s friend’s faces when he’s playing. The guy (forgot what his name was) looks just dumbfounded. But Da Mi is almost close to tears. And it’s not because Sun Jae just made love to the piano. I’m taking a guess when I say I think it’s cause she realized the difference between them and how Sun Jae is a totally different person than what she’s used to seeing when he’s playing.

5) The music when Sun Jae’s playing for his friends. I recently started to play the piano (inspired by this show) and I really really appreciate how hard it must’ve been to do that scene. And there were certain moments when I gasped or a shiver ran down my spine which didn’t really happen when I heard this before. Maybe it was because it was in a setting I was familiar with, and not a practice room or a concert hall (I’ve never been to these places). To me, the piano at Sun Jae’s home means more than just music. It’s where he learned to play, it’s where he played for Hye Won when she was lying in his bed (After they did *that* ;D ) .
So the next thing I’m going to do when I save/publish this is look online for the pianist who played this because I need to have this piece of music. I just need to.  

6) Those small conversations different characters were having with each other. I feel they are significant but I can’t do anything but wait for tomorrow for the subs. 

7) The preview. Hye Won looks like she’s going to faint after seeing Da Mi in her office. And Sun Jae’s looking at her with a puffy face while they are in a bus????!!! Isn’t it too early to be running away ?! 

And is it just me or they getting less oily? Maybe I’m just getting used to the oiliness 😛 
And if this made no sense to anyone, I totally get it. Because I’m not making any sense. And I just had to get this down because I won’t be able to handle thinking about this all tuesday. And if I don’t publish this soon I’m going to end up writing more nonsense. And I’m sorry for the grammatical mistakes, I’m really not in the mood for reading what I just wrote.